sum(Everything).

the only reason i'm blogging is because i'm waiting for TWGOK to buffer lol.

might as well write out stuff properly, not some random 3-lines-posts.

ahhh okay. i've just finished with my first year degree. it was a great year. i have the opportunity to meet people. good people. nice people. some are bitchy though. ughhh. i want to be with them again next year, and meet other good people. but i seriously don't think i'll make it. i want it so badly though. the situation now is like, i got 4.75 for the last semester. it is sucky i know, probably because i was being myself and only kinda studied at the last minute, so all the blame is on me. and i'm regretting it. i was told that the 5's i got were really close to 6's, but hell, the main point of it all is that i'm just not good enough. yes, the requirement for me to get my ass to UQ next year is 5.00. or 4.9 as stated in the agreement. so i should the minimum  i should be getting is like, 5 5 5 6. the worst i could get is 5 5 4 3. the best i could get is 6 6 5 4 or 6 6 6 4 (oh i like 6 6 6 4). there is also a possibility where i get 5.00 (6 6 5 3) for this sem, so the average would be like, 4.875 which is somewhat close to (70/100 * 7 = 4.9). if i really failed my chemistry though, (getting a 3) that would mean i could repeat the paper and i could probably get a decent 6 maybe? maybe. =__= i should've done chem past years like, seriously. relentlessly. but got that one fucked up. anddd i shouldn't have messed up my first CMT. by "messed" i mean "fucked up" juga. i did gave stat and phys and bio my best shot. chemistry was never my strong point but I TRIED Q___Q I SERIOUSLY TRIED SOMEWHAT BUT STILL

as stupid as it may sounds like, i'm still hoping that my sponsor would let me get through.

BUT IT IS HOPELESS LSKJDLSK

BUT I WANT Q___Q

i want this for myself really. to the point of where i don't really care about stuff like "letting my parents down" or whatever. but my parents will care though. i will get killed. but i don't care i still wantttt.

i really can't picture myself in 2011 if i can't get through this. i would miss a lot of people. and plans. Q___Q uhhh i want this i want this Q___Q

i have a tendency to not get what i want when i want something too much.

STILL WANTS.