final destination.

wow. it's out to get me.

long story cut short:

someone tried to kill me.

someone threw a block of ice off a floor in block B.

believe me, t'was with intent.

hurm. x ke haru kalo kene tadi.

final destination.

dying in a freak accident nowadays doesn't sound so freaky anymore.

final destination.

wow. it's out to get me.

long story cut short:

someone tried to kill me.

someone threw a block of ice off a floor in block B.

believe me, t'was with intent.

hurm. x ke haru kalo kene tadi.

final destination.

dying in a freak accident nowadays doesn't sound so freaky anymore.

Migikata no Chou

urgh. must post this.



i hope ur as inspired as me.

Migikata no Chou

urgh. must post this.



i hope ur as inspired as me.

Hang Over.

finally, it's going somewhere. lol.

i need this so bad.

i have nescafe hang over.

i'm sleep deprived.

i've deleted my facebook account.

there's so much things i wanna do but i dun think i have the time.

i want this.

grant my wish. ;P

*pachi pachi*

give me space, give me air,
LET ME SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dun deserve to be ur daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now gimme my PROZAC!!!!!!!!!!!!

--------------------------------------------

fuhh~

Guard and Scythe.

Pains, confessions, scent of sin
My heart gets black
A sythe in my right hand glows dirty silver
At the moment blood sinks into the red swamp

I behead her
A tone like a scream echos
Tears come from my eyes and change into a voice of a sythe

A cradle of crime and punishment swings, swings and shrieks
What the hell do you think where the sun doesn't enter?

A sythe in my right hand that judges my beloved sings a song
With tears in my eyes,
At the moment, a sickel makes a sound

A flower of quiet song blooms, blooms and sinks into the swamp
What the hell do you think where the sun doesn't enter?

----------------------------------

me loves this song!!!! xD

To Mr Yap with Love xD

Mr. Yap Keat Leong aka Mr Yap KL
The only Romeo among our 5 teachers
The best-looking one to boot! \(^0^)/

Chemistry is so much fun with you
Never tired of entertaining our question
Never failed to satisfy our curiosity
There is never a dull moment with you in the class

The funniest but the most garang
But always the coolest
Just ask boys who always kena ‘piak’ for coming late to class!
P/s : padan muka! xP

Covered shoes! Oh covered shoes!
We’re so sorry Mr. Yap >.<
Maybe you should carry out corporal punishment
But to the juniors next year la xP

Your teaching is truly the most memorable
How could anyone forget the chicken feet antennae model?
Oh! Don’t forget to remove the funnel from the burette
Or else your photo will be published for the juniors to see

AAS means Atomic Absorption Spectroscopy, and nothing else.

And remember,
If it’s not in the syllabus then
It’s JUST FOR FUN!! (Yap, 2009)

Thank you Mr. Yap Keat Leong
You’re the best teacher in the whole wide world ^^
p/s : If you run for president, we will surely vote for you! \(^0^)/

Love, J208 <3

S.O.S

Uber emo entry. starts.

and i dun even know what makes me so damn emo today. i guess it's just the stress. and lol. the extra encouragement that i got from aniki helps a lot. i'm referring to the other encouragement. if ur reading this (and i know u r because i can so track u) thank you. i'm kinda ok over here. i may not talk to u much for the pass month, but i do miss u. haha. forgive ur little sister here if my posts is kinda.. er.. out of the ordinary? haha. but i guess it's nobody's fault. i am the weird one in the family, ne? hoho. i miss u.

forgive me for my bad grades. i didn't mean to make mom and dad worry. it's just that sometimes i tried so hard, but the results are still like shit. sometimes, i wonder why i'm taking this course. oh ya. because i didn't get any offer. (lol. finals is in two weeks time and i'm still wondering haha.) this is pointless. i don't know what i want. i just know what my mom and dad wants. sometimes i feel dead. it's like i'm pretending to be alive. i can cry all i want, but i know it's just pointless. why is everything so pointless? God, i'm breaking. i don't know who i can talk too. lolz. i know, i have mom, i have dad, i hv my sister, i have friends. lol. tell me something i don't know. talking won't make me feel better. talking makes me feel worst. my friends? they're all rite. in fact, they are awesome. they are great. they're the best. compared to me. would be like giving myself up as fishfood. idk. FISHFOOD.

i tried concentrating on a paper. but i panicked the second i got stuck on a question. then i give up. i just feel like sleeping. and i wish to sleep without ever waking up to face that damn question. i know i have to study. i know. i know. then. my feelings are just pointless. i guess i'll just have to put up with the lies until i the exams are over. huh. it's hard being me.

fake smiles. all around.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T EVER THINK OF TELLING THIS TO MOM AND DAD. IT'LL MAKE ME FEEL EVEN WORSE. ^_^

Huh?

yup. xD

the Reason.

felt like blogging after a series of stalking activities.

i found out, and i wuz like WTF??? but it really dun matter because somehow, i get it. i know why he acts the way that he does. but i'm not gonna say anything, because anything i say won't change a fact about anything.

this is why i chose to be a yandere. let me do the chasing, and i won't let anyone chase after me. (the sad part is, the person i'm chasing after still doesn't know i'm chasing after him. lol. and i dun want him to know.) in the end, i am me. i am myself. so, that's is all.

wth. someone please tell me who i'm really chasing after? xD

Kasut Prom.

the prom is coming up after the finals, so i might as well search for the stuff i would want to wear. i scored a dress from my sister, so now all that is left is to find myself a mask, a choker and of course, shoes. i'm running low on money due to my other 'projects', lol so i decided to knock on my brother's pocket. (he may be thousands of miles away, but u'll never can escape from meh! >D)



the reply i get:




=____________________________________________+"

owh, he'll send me the money. he could never ignore his cute little sister's tiny request. xP


owh. found this on youtube. trying to find a way to DIY, change the orange to red and make a choker out of it. haiz, why didn't kemahiran hidup teach us to do any of these..? =="

Vain.

something is really wrong with me.

the finals are just a month away. i can't just carry on like what i did before. i need to go all out. urgh. but i think the tension is getting the best of me. i get frequent headache, i dun eat, i get wacky and i get emo. lol. i want this so badly that i think i'll die before getting it. if i dun, things will kill me.

but how the hell am i suppose to study when i'm so fucked up depressed..? =="

to run from all of those extra tension, i decided to go home, back in melaka. it maybe be just for the weekend, but i know it'll be worth it. at least that is what i thought. my dad called me and said he couldn't pick me up from KTM seremban, and i had to take the bus. owh great. i didn't bring much stuff with me to college that friday, since i'll be heading straight to melaka after class. but some unforeseen event had caused me the haul a bag filled with past years questions from taylor's to KTM subang. on foot under the scorching sun, bebeh. i could swear they weighted like 5 kg. why didn't i took a cab? because i'm too miskeen.

reached the station, and i saw a tren leaving. fuck. damn u KTM. sat on the bench for another 45 minutes. some jerks harassing me. why owh why? the train came and it twas packed. squeezed my way in anyway. switched trains in a nick of time. didn't get a seat, though. had to stand all the way to kajang. fell asleep the moment i got a seat.

got off from the train. fuck ar KTM. time aku bawak barang banyak ko berenti kat platform lain. i had to take the stairs since the elevator wuz broken. ==" reached terminal 1. "mau pigi melaka ka?" maybe there's a brand on my forehead. 'made in Melaka'. bought a 3.00 pm ticket for rm 12. it was 2.45 pm.

3.00

3.30

4.00

4.30

4.45

cilakak bas. it was only then did the bus came. got on the bus, took a single seat and fell asleep. this is why i hate public transport.

woke up when someone tugged my hair, hard. babi. sape plak nih? a kid, trying to act cute. sumpah aku nk bakar. they were giggling, screaming and doing all of the things that annoys me, while some jerks are playing system of the down songs from their mp3 out loud. agak-agakla weyh. i couldn't hide my killing intent anymore.

reached MC. got off the bus and headed to the main entrance. i got kinda lost. >< people harassing me some more. burn u fuckers. burn. my mom called asking me to hurry. ==" when i finally got out, it turns out that she was somewhere across the road because she didn't want to pay the rm1 fee. got to the car and there were questions. lots of it. i couldn't hide my killing intent properly. the questions turns into nags. ahhhhh~~ got in the car and immediately sleep.

reached home and locked myself in my room. buried my head under the comforter and cried. stupid things like that made me cried hard. i came home thinking that i would feel better, but the house where i came home to is only filled with strangers who just couldn't understand me. if the house where i called home is not my refuge, then where do i really belong? i continued crying until i got too hungry. washed my face, pulled myself together and faced them - who i call family. did a little FB-ing, and laid on my bed. got a panic attack and did a set of questions from the newly bought rm148.90 question booklets. got stuck on a question and fell asleep.

my life = vanity.
is this how a normal human being should act?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm a yandere, not a tsundere.
i refuse to act in the ways of the tsundere since they are over-rated.
the definition of that should already be enuff answer. ne?

me needs new good luck charm.

macam tikus kene hujan.

talk about rotten luck. >< i had my series of misfortunate event before, so i kinda got used to having bad luck. i lost my good-luck-charm-rm350-watch-given-by-mom so i had to prepare for the worst. i lost quite a bit of self-confidence, so now, i guess i'm battling my unlucky self.

i woke up pretty early today and left the unit around 7.03 am. managed to squeeze myself into an elevator filled with nurses-to-be and got safely on the ground floor. as usual, i lined up in the queue for the bus. somehow, the the queue seems longer today.

dan, secare tetibe-nyew, hujan pun turun berserta kilat sabung menyabung. kami lari ketakutan dan kegigilan pabila angin sejuk memamahi kulit. fuck, what language am i using? xP anyway, i ended up finding myself lining up, again, this time behind those who came later than me. i was wet, cold, and i could hide my killing intent very well. sorry if i traumatized anyone who was lining in front of me. and what do u know? later, the rain stopped, and i'm lining up for the bus again. =="

owh, then i rained summore. heavily. but no one refused to go back inside cuz we're all afraid that if we did, then we'll lose our queue for the bus. so, the i was, standing in the rain. i really do not know why i didn't have my umbrella with me today. it's just one of those things, i guess. it's 7:40 am, and my class starts at 8:00 am. i was shivering like hell, so was everyone else, so we went back for shelter. and as what i expected, there were a whole lot of people waiting there. and owh goody! they're so dry! we, the wet ones, made another line for the bus, and the dry ones can only bitch about it.

the bus came. suddeny, the atmosphere became tense. in a split of a second, the wets and the drys were fighting to climb on into the bus! using my ultra sneaking powers, i pulled and kick my way into the bus. there. safe and sound. others? THE HELL WITH THEM. muhahahaha~

unfortunately, it didn't stop there. for some unknown reason, the buz ac worked too well today. i was shivering man~~ ==" dah la rambut basah, and don't u guys know how bad the traffic in subang is?? another half and hour on the bus!! popsicle = me. yeah, reached college around 7:22 am, had to run in the rain, climbed the stairs and made it to class. nasib baik Mr Yap KL still consider me as attending class. >< arigatou. it turns out that 3 of my classmate still stuck in traffic. poor them. eh, lol~

our future is represented by digits. that is true. i won't do any calculations on my grades, because i'm absolutely positively totally know that i'll lose my urge to study. so, let's pretend that there's still a tiny minute sparkle of hope, and just strive on. A20? ==" dun push it. lol.

ganbatte-neyh, minna. :3 (me needs more though)