Know It.

ketahuilah yang saya bosan.

My favourite bakery is no longer where it was supposed to be.

where the fuck should i go and get the awesome apple blueberry puffs. Haih. i just wanna point out the fact that nothing is the same anymore. i wouldn't be this bitter if there's at least one; ONE lousy thing that i left in my room stays that way when i get back. this doesn't feel anything like home anymore.

not that it really felt like home back then

my house even has a fucking name now.

i don't really mind changes >__> i just hate people changing things that are mine. i want a cat. why. why can't a cat be there to welcome me home. why can't my cabinet filled with mangas be there when i entered the room.

"haih intan. bersyukurlah parents kau ada nak jemput kau kat airport."

parents are parents. aku tak rasa parents Takemoto Yuuta ada main apa apa role masa dia pergi buat 自分探しの旅 . i'm not that hardcore nak pergi naik basikal round satu Jepun, but i guess in the past 5 years living away from them, i'm well on my way la kot rasanya.

btw papa saya belikan saya HTC Rhyme. tapi kaler purple tu takde kat Malaysia ;w; takpe nanti pakai casing jugak.

find whatever that's important to you. keep them close.

i should get this thing mental thing that i have with myself diagnosed.

Boredception.

OMG so i'm gonna blog every chance that i get now? D; so laifless lsnfldfsnstfuuu.

last night i had a dream where i went for a cruise holiday with people i presumably know of. like, with friends and not family type of cruise. it was wilddddddddd. not.

i even had a boyfriend. my boyfriend; the hottest jock around OTL

he was such an asshole, i didn't know how or why i dated him in the first place ;A; i was being all lovey dovey to him and he kinda ignored me and pushed me away D8 I MEAN WTF MANN. and he has this unhealthy obsession with milo and bread. and he still craves attention from others even when he is already with me .__. i remember this scene when he was being a popular jock and stuff and completely ignored me who was sitting in a lonely unpopular corner, and i was so bored that i stared at the ceiling for like, 15 minutes or so. it feels like i'm staring at the ceiling in real time yo. wtf i spent 15 minutes dreaming of how i stared at the ceiling? ;w; whatever. i know i don't belong in the popular clique, but can't you spare some time to be with me? i am your girlfriend anyway ;w; i mean, i must be special to you if you dated me, a girl outside the popular clique right?

so i cast my ill feelings aside and treated him nicely and all. maybe deep down in his heart, i'm still the unpopular girl he's in love with ;w; but then suddenly, a wild whore with huge melon-like boobs appear. she said something about an event happening on the top deck of le ship (as in she's inviting both of us to go but i know that bitch is eyeing my sayang skndslnls D:) but to my delight, my sayang denied her, and both of us returned to our room. hekhek co-habitating with an imaginary sayang on an imaginary cruise hekhek. i was half-asleep when i caught him getting ready to go out. i asked him repeatedly, "where're you going? where're you going?" and he was like, "i'm not going anywhere." LIES. i know he wants to go to that event alone without his unpopular girlfriend so that he can hook up with melon tits ;w;

i let him go though. i didn't even try to stop him and went back to sleep. then suddenly, a wild cat jumped to my bed. i took the cat for a short walk near the unpopular deck, played with it for a while and then i woke up.

TALK ABOUT SAD KSJNFLDS.

anyway, here's a picture of my parents when they were young.

i hate random chromosome recombination.

A Side Note.

Think fast.

I blog, tweet and spend way to much time on facebook since i came home.

i write blog posts because i actually have time to hear myself think. i have time to look back and ponder about stuff because no one is around me to distract me from doing so. i write blog posts about things that happen to me, and around me because the people who are usually there with me to experience those things are not here with me right now (if they knew about it, it doesn't matter if the others know about it or not). the only reason why i log on to twitter and facebook is because i wanna know what they're doing too.

The friends that you made because you share the same interest are not the same as the friends that you have just because. period.

When you lose the interest, you'll lose the friends that you use to associate with that interest. but friends that are your friends just because they are your friends are like, unconditional friends. you spend days with them, eating the same food, experience the same things, talk like each other just because they are there for you. doesn't matter why. it's sorta different from family ties. you're only close to your family because they're your family. you might still fight and hate each other's guts. hmm i am terribly missing people.

sometimes it's better to run away from everything, experience things on your own and grow. no matter what the price is.

do what you want with your life. as long as you don't fuck up someone else's, carry on. just don't do things that you'll regret. like that very very wise man once said; everything happens for a reason.

and the clock ticks away.

2nd Day.

just as i thought, i was over-reacting =__= good thing i didn't waste my time vending my irrational sadness in my last post. i really thought of rambling my heart out but then i managed to coax myself.

shit happens. in the end nothing matters.

le crisis : my mom threw out most of my stuff when i was in Brissy. i came home to find my room is no longer my room, nothing was where it should have been. at first i was cool with it, until i can't find that special box. it's just a simple shoe box, decorated with a present wrap. it holds all of the mementos from my past, trivial ones, but all are equally important. i was gonna include my awesome hand-written boarding pass in there (Y) but i couldn't find it anywhere.

i was alone at home, crying my eyes out, searching every nooks and crannies for that miserable looking shoe box. sangat sedih okay? i was freaking out on twitter and facebook too lol. i mean come on! all of the birthday cards i've ever gotten, that special card my brother made for me to wish me luck for PTS, all those little charms my friends from primary school gave to me before we said goodbyes in standard 6, the broken compasses my crush fixed for me (but still broken) in high school, that necklace my mom gave to me when she went for her first pilgrimmage when i was 6 years old....

so many memories i've kept in the box. i can't even recall what else are in that box. that's the purpose of the box anyway, to keep me reminded of all those things.

and now i can't find it .___.

i felt like shit before, but now i'm good. nahhh i still feel like shit because writing this post reminded me how shitty i felt just now. but i'll be okay soon. i should learn to let go of my past soon. i may have lost the junks, but i still have some vague memories of all those things happening early in my life right?

NO. I NEED COLD HARD EVIDENCE. I NEED PROOF THAT I HAD A PAST. OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE A LIE.

i found my gunblade and my shoujo collections in the new store shed behind the house. i'm guess the rest of my junks could be in there too. i shall have a look see tomorrow ;w;

anyway i was so upset with my mom trying to erase the traces of my existence.

lol jk i hate kids

anyway, i'm still getting used to this house. papa pimped it out kaw kaw punya so now i need to fondle every switch that i can find on the wall just to switch on the fan, a lamp, etc. PAPA. Y U NO LABEL LE SWITCHES D8 and the alarm. i do feel a lot safer with the alarm, but then again i'm not sure if i'm sure or not sure if i know how to turn the alarm on and off. so i can never leave the house ever again D8 ( nak sidai baju pun takleh yesss ) and and the gate. i don't know how to open le electronic gate D;

the house is so foreign to me right now .__. it doesn't really feel like my home. but then again, it's not :'D this is my parents house ;w; i am just here leeching of them for the whole 3 months. but at least the room is mine ;w; tomorrow i shall continue with my plan to re-conquer my room. moar cleaning to doooo

nah i'm not mad at my mom. she paid for my expensive toiletries just now >:'D

bilik saya dah ada aircond weyhhh. *raba raba aircond*

1st Day.

Something happened and i am sad. kbai

Tadaima.

If you've seen my facebook post, you should have anticipated for this blog post.

my boarding pass is handwritten because i'm too hipster for le printed ones

bwahaha. haih but first thing first, it feels good to be home yo. for now. everyone is so nice to me i can't even ;w; haih. being appreciated is like the best feeling ever; to have people acknowledging your existence because you've come back from the dead or something. i shall savour this feeling while it lasted ;w;

i can't wait to meet people. but at the same time, i'm kinda lazy to meet people. lol

ape cerita boarding pass tu? simple je. the lady at the check-counter gave me a duplicate copy of the person who was checking-in before me by mistake. being the social awkward penguin, i realized the name that was printed on the boarding pass was not mine moments before i approached the customs. basically, if the name on the boarding pass didn't match my passport, then GG la.

BUT WHY. WHY DOES THINGS LIEK THIS HAPPEN TO ME?

but like most of the stories of my life, i am always blessed with some kind of stupid luck. the person who checked-in before me was actually my friend lol. when i realised the name on that boarding pass was his, i was like, "dude why you take my boarding pass lol give it back." after i realised that we had the exact same copy, i ran to the front counter to get a new one but the counter was closed so can't change the boarding pass then. haih we approached the custom guy together and explain and the guy at the counter was like, go sit at the corner there for a sec and i'll see how we can sort this out. i was like ksndfksdn why why does it always has to be me lsnflsdnfls D:

an airport officer person thing came and took care of our passport and tried to print out a new boarding pass for me. but the printer hates me and there you have it. a handwritten international boarding pass.

moral of the story: always check your boarding pass and never travel with me if you don't want this kind of freaky technical misfortune.

food i've eaten today: wantan mee with wantan shrimp soup, portugese toasts with bread and kaya, peppermint chocolate ice blended, nasi with sambal udang, masak lemak rebung, ayam goreng and ikan parang goreng.

laugh all you want now, Tabby.

AND PEOPLE. STOP COMMENTING ON HOW FAT I'VE GOTTEN LA SERIOUSLY.

277 Days.

how typical of me. i'm supposed to be packing now but nahh.

i haven't been blogging at all this couple of months.

Ohai. today is my last day in Brisbane. i'm catching a flight early tomorrow, yes yes i am coming home baby. until February that is. I am a bit excited to go home and meet my parents lol. I complain about them from time to time, but I really do miss them. sometimes. whatever. for now i just wanna go back and meet them. shall complain more later if i have too. i have a feeling that i will.

mom sent me a wild text message, saying she's taking a break from work; just to clean the house up to welcome her darling 'princess'. oi. oi. we didn't do this sweet-sweet-name-calling thing back in Malaysia. never did. no but no harm what. she is my mother anyway, bukannya orang lain yang nak panggil 'darling-sayang-manja-dear'. i just felt a little bit freaked out. lol jelly? well i guess she's missing me somewhat. i guess.

but the moment i got that text i was like; I DIDN'T GET HER ANYTHING AS A SOUVENIR THEREFORE I SHALL GET DISOWNNNN. *insert a freaking out internet meme here* i bought my sister some some some for her engagement present, but i didn't buy anything for my mom at the time since i didn't have the confidence to choose something that'll please her ;w;

my mom is difficult. for others, "it's the thought that counts." for my mom? YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SOMETHING VALUABLE AND BRANDED AND LE EXPENSIVE SO I CAN BOAST TO MY FRIENDS WHENEVER THEY ASK ME WHAT DID YOUR DAUGHTER BOUGHT FOR YOU FROM AUSTRALIA KSLNDFLKDSNF.

being a mom is hard ;w; you have to deal with social pressure too i guess.

BUT BEING LE DAUGHTER IS HARD TOO. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE DAUGHTER MEMANG MISKIN GILA TAK BOLEH AFFORD THOSE KIND OF STUFF ;A;

well she did give me a hint that she wanted a handbag. but she usually criticized my taste in EVERYTHING so i didn't even bother to try -__- like the bag my brother bought for her when he came back from Brussels? yeahh she was 'happy' when she got it but the she never use it lol. and carrying le pride of the other daughter, i wanted to give her something better so that she could show off to her friends and prove that i am better than my brother? lol OTL what is this never ending cycle of social egoism lskdnfldsnlf.

( oh mana dia keikhlasan hati )

meh whatever as long as she's happy right? she's my mom not yours. and so i got her something else, not a handbag or anything. but it's enough i guess =__= i got some some some for my dad too :D he travels a lot so i guess it's kinda appropriate ( i bought him one because i wanted the other some some some but then it was a kind of a buy 1 get 1 free thing )

I AM POOR. DON'T JUDGE.

and i bought my little not so little brother some little trinkets and stuff. hehe. but i promised him i'll get something for him when my allowance for next month masuk teehee :D he'll love me no matter what because i am an awesome sister.

and suddenly, a random camwhore appears.

277 days in Brisbane and this is what i look like. now go on and stalk my pictures back in the days time baru nak fly dulu sndflsndfnsk.

kbai hafta pack.

FUN FUN FUN

You know I'm having fun when I'm doing stuff that I can't even blog about.

Bwahaha.

loljk finals.