Courage. Masks.

all it takes to make things right is a text. and some courage. i lack the latter ;_;

i wanna make things right.
i wanna make things right.
i wanna make things right.


i don't have the courage. i'm a coward. now we're all hurting. wait. idk. i'm just assuming. are you hurting, lad? i'm not hurting. i'm just confused. i'm not a part of this stupid matter anyway. but i feel so restless. i read it. haha. the non-existent blogpost ;P why? i can only guess. did you change your mind? about what? are you taking back what you have said before? did you mean any of them? which part exactly that u wanted to remove? idk. hey. i'm not mad. ;_; i'm just pondering about stuff. i wanna ask you. but i'm scared. i don't think i'm supposed to be asking. i don't want u to ask me either. honestly. we just don't talk about these things. talking makes it more complicated. am i right? ;_;

and and and i don't know the story from your side, so all i can do is assume. but i know, Ms Param said "when u assume, u are making an ass of u and me" so assuming is bad. but if i don't know the truth, how can i possibly not assume things? AND I DON'T WANNA KNOW ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. so, what do i want. do i want to know? why don't i want to know? why significance does it have for me to know or not to know? why can't i just get this over with. why am i such a coward. i'm so slutty ;_; i'm a bitch. i don't deserve friends. i am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life ;_; i can't socialize. you'll get jinxed if u hang around me. i bring bad luck.


oh my this is so stupid. just stop caring about what i feel. -.- trust me you'll be doing me a major favor. my life is not a shoujo manga. i think it's classified under seinen. psychological. dramatic. tragedy. it's pure paranoia. i'm getting ahead of myself, aren't i? and it's happening again.i'm forcing myself on to others. my ideals. it's a bad habit of mine. i thought i've gotten over it. but i haven't. it slips out sometimes. AAAAAA i should stop being so carefree. i should revert back to being boring. i should accept it. masks. masks. which mask should i put on today.

who is the person behind this mask?


lagu jiwang.





ah. perhaps i should just put on a mask of a person who has the courage to do things. but i doubt that i have the courage to wear it.

even now
i can hear the sound of you
even now
i feel your hand
even today
i lived in the traces of you

even still
i still see the figure of you
even still
i feel your warmth
even today
i lived in the time of you

even within some stranger's figure
passing on the street
even above the leaves
riding the wind with a lonely dance
even within the air
brushing past my cheecks on some evening
in everything i see, hear and feel
you are there

yeah, and how are you?
yeah, and how are you?
even you,are you the same as me
yeah, and how are you?

even now
i can feel you
like this
singing a song, even in this moment
I see you
even tomorrow
i will see you
even tomorrow
i will hear you
even tomorrow
eerything will be the same as today

even on that big empty chair
left on the side of the street
even in the glass i thoughtlessly filled
to drink some water
even within the mirror
i face to look at myself
even within the music sitting in deeper
from the edge of my ear
you are there

now, what can i do?
now, what can i do?
you've probably moved on
us, what can we do now?

now, what can i do?
now, what can i do?

the door of longing opens and
the memories of you are coming after me
again and again, the corners of my eyes go red
now, what can i do?
the door of longing opens and
the memories of you are coming after me
just again and again
my heart gets broken
now, what can i do?

Ajikdo neo-ui sori-reul deud-go
Ajikdo neo-ui son-gil-eul neukkyeo
Oneuldo nan neo-ui heunjeok aneh sal-assjyo

Ajikdo neo-ui moseubi boyeo
Ajikdo neo-ui ongireul neukkyeo
Oneuldo nan neo-ui shigan aneh sal-assjyo

Kil-eul jinanenun eoddeon natseon ee-ui moseub sok-ehdo
barameul tago sseul-sseul-hi chumchuneun jeo nak-yeob wi-ehdo
Bbyam-eul seuchi-neun eoneu jeonyeok-eh keu kong-gi sok-ehdo
Naega bogo deud-go neukki-neun modeun keot-eh niga isseo keurae

Eoddeongayo keudaen eoddeongayo keudaen
Dangshindo nawa katnayo eoddeongayo keudaen

Jigeumdo nan neorul nekkijyo
ee-reohkeh norael bureu-neun jigeum ee sun-kando
nan keudaega boyeo
nae-ildo nan neoreul bokehss-jyo
nae-ildo nan neoreul deud-kehss-jyo
nae-ildo modeungeh oneul haruwa kat-kehss-jyo

Kil-eul jinanenun eoddeon natseon ee-ui moseub sok-ehdo
barameul tago sseul-sseul-hi chumchuneun jeo nak-yeob wi-ehdo
Bbyam-eul seuchi-neun eoneu jeonyeok-eh keu kong-gi sok-ehdo
Naega bogo deud-go neukki-neun modeun keot-eh niga isseo keurae

Eoddeongayo keudaen eoddeongayo keudaen
Dangshindo nawa katnayo eoddeongayo keudaen

Kilga-eh deong-geureoni noh-yeojin jeo wija wi-ehdo
Mul-eul mashiryeo mushimko jib-eodeun yurijan an-ehdo
Nareul barabogi wihae majuhan keu keo-ul sok-ehdo
Kwit-ga-eh salmyeoshi naeryeo-anj-eun eumak sok-ehdo niga isseo

Eo-ddeok-hajyo ijehn eo-ddeok-hajyo ijehn
Keudae-neun ji-wiss-eul tendeh eo-ddeok-hajyo ijeh urin..

Keuri-um-ui muneul yeolgo neo-ui ki-eok-ee nal chaj-awa
Jaggu nunshi-ul-ee bulk-eojyeo
Keuri-um-ui muneul yeolgo neo-ui ki-eok-ee nal chaj-awa
Jagguman kaseumi mi-eojyeo

Keuri-um-ui muneul yeolgo neo-ui ki-eok-ee nal chaj-awa
Jaggu nunshi-ul-ee bulk-eojyeo
Keuri-um-ui muneul yeolgo neo-ui ki-eok-ee nal chaj-awa
Jagguman kaseumi mi-eojyeo