Listening to Techno.

i have been such a good person for all these years that when the time comes for me to be viciously bitchy, the world would surely end.

and again, i'm haunted by the fear of losing myself. i know who i am, i know what defines me but there's no way i can describe them to you. or you. and you. that is why i like to be told certain things. by certain people x3 if i'm told of such things, it'll make it easier for me to make other people understand. if i am the person as what i am perceived, then it must mean that i'm not living a lie ^^ and it also means that i'm one hell of an actor xD

i took a cab to sunway last friday night. the uncle was so kind and friendly. at the end of the journey he said "thank you ur so sweet.." geh haha xD *blushblushblush* yes i am sweet. ^^ but hafta be careful neyh~ sweet kills. literally. when i feel like i'm being taken advantage of someone else, i would snap. i would be the evilest bitch u've ever met. i won't throw things at you. i won't even tell you that i'm actually pissed off by u. because i am a coward D': i don't like you but i don't wanna be hated by u. it's not quite a complicated relationship. it's rather simple actually ^^ i find it hard to hate anyone but if i have the right reasons then i surely will. hating is bad for my karma OTL

usually i like to be told that i'm cute. HAHAHA who doesn't? =_=" i said 'usually' because the sad part is, i was told that i'm cute by people who i don't wanna hear that from. ergh it's depressing. not to mention creepy. TT^TT but but but i don't wanna get complimented on stuff like studying cuz it would just give me pressure : / i'm not very good at being consistent and i hate to let people down so i'll just try not to get people's hopes up. but it's hard to maintain a one-sided relationship with the world. you'll get affected by them somehow. and that is exactly what i'm afraid of ^^;; so someone, please kidnap me and leave me stranded on a deserted island of some sort. i'm not good at socializing so might as well isolate me from other people before i make a fool of myself. but don't forget to leave me some luxury ;_; (coke and choco are a must).

i admit that i talk behind people. i know it's rather bitchy of me ._. and there's no excuse i can give to justify what i did. but things will get more complicated if i choose to stand before you and bash u face to face. it'll be ugleh. you can say that i'm some sort of a kind hypocrite. i'll say what i think bad of u ONCE, but i'll never get tired of saying stuff that relates to how awesome you are. so please, be AWESOME. i'll always try to carry myself in a way that u will find me acceptable, but if i offended u in anyway at all, u don't really have to tell me cuz i can sense it and change myself again just for u. just think of me as a customizable web page LOL wtf xD

It's hard to live as one persona for the rest of your life. that is why i like to change ^^