Disregarded.

i'm sorry my blog. i've been neglecting you since August.

but it goes to show that i dun really have much time to blog, as i'm spending more time, erm, "studying"? ngyaha~ but sometime, i do feel that i dun really put much effort in my studies - partly due to the fact that i'm already tired. i'm sick of studying as i always end up getting useless results. ahaha.

"blaja x blaja same jew."

owh, i hate that phrase. work harder, intan! do it for the money. do it for the love. do it for all the things that you love in the world. honestly, i can't imagine how life would be if i flunk this one out. hmm. maybe it'll b the end of me. maybe i'll go insane. ahaha. emo depressed me locking herself in her room and talks to no one. haha. strangely enough, i can imagine myself in that situation without any problem. =P

"life's too hard. i wish i'd just die."

really? but i'm enjoying life so much. why would i want it to end? i'm happy to be with my family, eventhough i dun show much affection. haha. that's weird. a fan girl who doesn't show much affection to her own family. i love them, but i just dun show it so much. i dun really have to buy all expensive stuff to show that i love u, rite? but u always gimme the feeling that i should do so.

"i'm sorry that i'm not perfect. leave me if my existence bother u so much."

nobody's perfect. lol. but how come all those people around me seem to have it better than me? better grades, better looks, better lives. come on intan, be happy with what u already have. i know, i know. but it's just frustrating. then ignore them, ignore them. smile, even if it's a fake smile. dun we all love fake smiles? ^^

"come and take me away."

ngyaa~ kuih raya belum buat. how come there are less and less home made kuih every raya morning? hmm. i remember back then, when we had 4 types of kuih made for raya. plus 2 cakes. tahun nie? ntah2 sejenis pun x sempat buat. i wish things dun change. i want them to stay the same. lol. i do have peterpan syndrome. come peter. hurry and take me away.

"heart as efficient as a quantum computer."

i'm crying, but i'm smiling. i'm angry, but i'm happy. my brain holds too much thought at one time. if i dun act they way that i do, i'll break. macam mane nk tau kalau kau dh gila? people who think they're crazy ain't crazy. i remembered that theory. in my case, i know that i'm not crazy, so does it mean i am crazy? haha. slowly. slowly i'll be.

esok last trial paper. wish me luck. pastu raye! yay! ^^